Bedtime Blog 7 — The Problem with Arguments…


Is that no-one feels good…

My mate Arthur swears he’s better off living on his own. That’s why he went to live in a shelter on the sea front. Although he’s squatting there he’s pleased he lives alone. He’s lived through arguments and recriminations and when hears other families rowing when they walk past, it just cements his hardened heart.

That’s actually a lie. 

His heart isn’t hard — it’s his attitude that’s hard and unrelenting.

You see, Arthur loves the four seasons. I’m not just talking music, energising and energetic performances or music accompanied to Disney films. Arthur believes that the change in each season is a chance to dust off old habits and to change: Autumn and Winter bring death and decay whilst Spring and Summer bring regrowth.

BUT Arthur won’t change in his attitude toward his family or his friends.

He’s through fighting. He’s beyond nastiness and the pettiness of old wounds. In Arthur’s world there’s no fighting or bitterness, jealousy or envy. He leads a simple life. He’s found his own happy niche in life — sleeping rough- needing no-one.

He wakes up each morning with nothing. He watches the sunrise and the sunset. Arthur sees the things we all take for granted as we charge around, too busy to look up from our own ignorance: making money, making rules, making decisions.

Arthur watches us. He’s the elephant that sits in the room — judging. The one who hears what we say and the vile words we use in anger and ignorance. He’s the one who shakes his head at our self-opinionated arrogance. Our relentless quest to always be right or misunderstood — when we are the victim in the arguments we create.

He’s the one who tuts and shakes his head when we pretend we’re better than we really are — when we don’t recognise our unkindness and our harsh actions to others, when we can’t say sorry, when we pretend our words don’t hurt.

Arthur knows more than anyone. He understands the difference: Inclusion and Exclusion. 

He knows the hurt. He’s astute and pensive.

Arthur knows the difference between a lie and a deliberate slight. He knows when you play him badly like a screeching fiddle. When he’s so strung up and you torment him with your vile ways and accusations, and when you tease him into a manipulated confrontation.

That’s why he left. 

That’s why he got out. He knows rage and anger and frustration. He knows how you wind him up. Because Arthur isn’t a stupid man. Arthur isn’t irresponsible or uncaring. He says he’s better with nothing. He’s not going to be treated this way.

By YOU or by anyone.

He values himself. That’s why he lives alone. That’s why Arthur’s happy watching the sunrise and the sunset…

Goodnight dear reader, think uncomplicated thoughts…


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