Bedtime Blog 1 — All Teeth and Fireball

My Bedtime Blog is a quick read once a week. It’ll only take a couple of minutes just before you switch off the light and snuggle under the duvet…


The Blog Roll…

Did you ever wonder — when did blogging become so popular? And why is it fascinating for so many?

Knowing how to blog properly is a bit like knowing which way the toilet roll goes in the holder — which side the sheet hangs down. And, believe me, not everyone knows.

How infuriating is it when you find out that it’s the wrong way round — and it’s inevitably when you’ve only got one hand free to use? The other is probably otherwise engaged in texting, Skyping or chatting to someone about something exciting that’s happening in your life — and you can’t wait to tell them your news.

Blog ideas are like a toilet roll. Each sheet has a new theme, idea, musing, rant or poem perhaps there’s even room for a short story. Or while you’re having a flash in the pan — a bit of racy flash fiction.

Ideas can unravel as quickly as an Andrex roll tossed downstairs by an excitable puppy. He’s tearing the paper, ripping it apart like a severe critic or worse still snarling at it like a fierce dragon. All teeth and fireball; a passionate agitator that ensnares your creativity in a rage of flame and scorching heat. His mauling stings your sensitive thoughts and burns your precious ideas, making carbon of your secret goals. And, like the greedy fiend, the puppy chews with no regard for the paper it’s written on. Like your severest critic they’re oblivious of the hurt and scorn that burns your temperament, and their instinct is stronger than tact.

Kindness is a little like leaving an extra roll beside the bowl. Just in case it runs out or the puppy steals one. Likewise criticism is about keeping something in reserve. Holding back. Encouraging positive action.

Praise is like being in a public toilet. Isolated and helpless and hoping an unknown ally will pass you some paper under the door. Or even lob a new roll over the top. It saves you from sitting there waiting and wondering if you’ll be rescued. If it lands on your head like an insincere compliment, frustration mounts as it slides effortlessly from your grip and tumbles across your shoes and into the neighbouring cubicle. You were too slow to grasp it.

Children love toilet humour. But it’s no fun when with your knickers around your ankles, baring your ample and fun-loving soul to the world, hoping for a thumbs up or a like or a share. It’s as if the power is in the puppy. The eager enthusiast who tell you you’re doing it all wrong.

So, why bother? It’ll only be chewed up, spat out, cleared up and forgotten in a few minutes. Something more interesting and exciting is bound to be written leaping like a spring lamb showing you another way to frolic and gambol your time reading the bestseller list.

I’ve never associated transience and ideas with toilet paper. Although, on rumination, it’s perfectly logical. Flush daily with new ideas, ignore the soiled and the sodden. Be adventurous and think of something new. Take it between your teeth and tug hard. Pull ideas from your inner sanctum and watch them unfold. Revel in that special place where ideas ferment like a bubbling cauldron or a flushed cistern. Wash away the old ideas, rinse your hands with tepid thoughts or ignite your fingers with the devil’s ideas. Cross the threshold of the accepted — be creative and unique — wipe your hands, look at yourself in the mirror and begin again.

Remember those blogroll specialists? They’re the ones who pull a stream of ideas and leave reams of square paper littered on the soiled floor like discarded ideas marked with another’s dirty footprint.

I try to be kind to the crumpled sheets, tossed aside and discarded. They have known and gone through much more than you can possibly imagine…

Creativity is bare. Nakedness is our vulnerability. Ideas are plentiful.

Good night, my dear reader. Think Happy thoughts…


For more information about my writing, please visit my blog:

· How I Research and Write my Novels

· Bedtime Reads — Short stories based on unusual relationships

Sign up to my mailing list and receive book 1 — MASTERPIECE for free:


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s